Finding Mr Destiny
by iSakura-Hime
Summary: Love triangles are probably one of the worst predicaments, especially when they involve your easygoing, funloving senpai and controlling, seductive boyfriend. The course of true love never did run smooth. Or so said Shakespeare. Read&Review ;D NxM#1
1. A Messy Affair

**A/n: **This isn't AU, but still different from the original storyline. The group has Alices, but they don't have the ESP chasing them around for Mikan's Alice. Things are mellower, and most of the tension revolves around Natsume-Mikan-Tsubasa's love triangle. It's just a story about high school, first love, heart break, growing up, and everything else there is to it. Please review, even if you hate it. It would mean the world to me, honestly.

**Disclaimer**: I am too uncool to own Gakuen Alice. Kudos to Tachibana Higuchi for Gakuen Alice and all its awesomeness. I am just a poor fan fiction writer. T^T

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"_As many have discovered, it is entirely possible (although not particularly desirable) to love two people with all your heart. It is entirely possible to long for two lives, to feel that one life can't come close to containing it all." ―__Gabrielle Zevin__, __Elsewhere_

**1. A Messy Affair**

**Hotaru's POV**

_High school._

They say no one makes it out of high school unscathed. Of course, this isn't applicable if you are an Imai. But I had so subtly, so cunningly put this idea in the head of a certain baka, that it had found its home in there.

In simple terms, Mikan baka Sakura… was not ready for high school.

"You're kidding me?" Shouda gasped. I turned around to give her one look of nonchalance, before returning to packing up my things for school. I needed my Mac, my iPhone, my books, a notebook-

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" Shouda screamed like a banshee behind me. "She's gonna DIE in there!" She exclaimed.

All this drama in the morning… right before school. Oh hell no. I did not sign up for this.

My eyes must have looked really sour and uninviting, because Shouda now seemed to take two steps away from me in fear.

I sighed before throwing a key in her hands. "No one dies locked in their room for a few hours. But here. That'll be 1,000 rabbits please." Shouda gave me a look of utter disbelief before tossing the money which I aptly caught and put away.

With the key in hand, Shouda unlocked the door to baka's room. I peaked out of curiosity to find the baka sitting in front of the mirror combing her long, chocolate brown hair. She also seemed to have various magazines open in front of her.

I walked over and stood in the door way, just out of curiosity and sheer boredom. Mikan looked at me seriously. Her jaw tensed and her eye twitched, before, in slow motion, she raised a finger at me and spat- "YOU TRAITOR."

Shouda's nose was in the air, arms crossed before she turned to face Mikan. "Seriously Sakura, you were just planning on ignoring me forever? I thought we were friends."

There we go.

She plays the "I thought we were friends" card on Mikan baka Sakura. And there goes her heart.

Sometimes it's disgusting how easy it is to melt Mikan's heart, and get her to do what you want. I have never found it to be an endearing quality. But Mikan argues that making other people happy makes her happy.

Well… money makes _me_ happy.

"There's nothing wrong with dying locked up in my room, okay?" Mikan got up, only to collapse on the bed and sulk. Shouda shot her a death glare. "Excuse me?" She shrieked. No peace in the dorm guaranteed with Shouda in it. "Are you trying to make us all miserable?"

"I don't wanna go!" She hissed, throwing a pillow at Shouda which hit her squarely between her eyes. I smirked, easily dodging the one she then directed towards me.

"It's gonna be fine," Shouda sat down next to her on the bed, sulking. Everyone was now officially sulking. Yay.

"Look… you have amazing friends, a good course and an amazing boy—fr"

"DON'T." Mikan raised her index finger and thrust it in Shouda's face. "I don't have a boyfriend." Shouda's eyes widened. "I can _NOT_ believe you just said that about Natsume-sama." She fumed. But Mikan, her eyes looked sad.

"He didn't call me… all summer," she said in the lowest of voices.

To be honest… I hated when Hyuuga did this. They had been dating since elementary school. They had kissed under that stupid Christmas tree and exchanged those stupid Alice stones.

And even after all of that… Hyuuga… well he was a dick. He did this to her in the summer of elementary school when he totally disappeared. And now he did it again in middle school.

"I am not even sure if we're dating," Mikan said sourly as she sat up. "Besides… I can't keep my hair in pigtails anymore. They're looking weird."

"That explains the magazines," I chuckled. Mikan pouted at me, eyebrows pulled together in annoyance.

"Of course they look weird you fashionably challenged freak!" Shouda shouted. I could see steam rising from her head. "Why can't you let it loose? Your hair looks beautiful when it's – loo"

"DON'T." Mikan and I said in unison.

"Oh yeah… Natsume-sama thinks that too."

I face palmed myself when baka looked close to tears. That idiot Shouda…

"Mikan," I said seriously, knowing that I'd get her attention. "It's just high school. We've been through worse. Elementary and middle school wasn't any easier, and high school is just gonna be worse." I stated as a matter of fact.

"But," I raised my finger before she could protest, "we survived."

I saw Shouda smirk, and I couldn't help but grin too. "We've changed and we've learned how to counter everything that they throw at us," Sumire added. "Come on Mikan. Natsume-sama will be Natsume-sama. We'll figure how to deal with him later. Just get dressed, for me?"She pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

Mikan's sighed in defeat as she slumped to her wardrobe to pull out her uniform. Shouda and I were already dressed, so we waited in the living room until Mikan finished.

When she stepped out, I could barely recognize that this was the clumsy girl who I befriended in childhood.

Mikan's hair had grown long, very long, almost reaching her hips. She tied them in a high pony tail, letting her bangs loosely cover her face, a few long strands loosely tucked behind her ear. Her hair draped over her shoulder, reaching neatly to her waist. She wore the studs Hyuuga got her for managing to pass all her exams in middle school, (which was seriously an achievement for Mikan) –two elegant diamond studs.

I had to say, he had great taste.

She wore black stockings reaching her thighs under the red plaid skirt, with black ballet flats. Her shirt was fitted with one button open, and she wore a star necklace that Andou gifted her, and I quote, "_to always make you think of me_."

I think I am gonna puke.

Oh yeah.

Andou, who was Mikan's first _senpai_, will be on the same campus with us at Alice University. I can't wait when things on campus get… interesting.

I admired the baka, who had not only grown in her looks, but also in grace. Her movements were more graceful, and she was less hyper than she had been in elementary.

"How do I look?" She asked cutely as she twirled.

Honestly, I answered, "beautiful."

"HOTARUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~"

_BAKA BAKA BAKA!_

"Hotaruuuu…." Mikan cried waterfall tears.

No, I'll erase that last part. Seems like she hadn't matured. Not at all.

"Let's go. We're already late," I grunted. This was not the impression I wanted to make on my first day, _especially_ when they'll be comparing my records to that lousy brother of mine who excelled at everything.

"Gomen," Mikan rubbed her head slowly where the baka gun had hit her.

We walked to our new campus. The air was breezy and I liked how it tickled my skin. I looked over my shoulder to see Mikan looking around in awe. Spring always made her happy. The colors and the full blossom of the Sakura tree made her happy.

In short, it was nice to have Mikan as my best friend…

Because it didn't take a lot of money to make her happy. It was just the little things that mattered to her.

The grounds were full of freshmen years. Sakura petals flew with the breeze, and one landed on my nose. I sneezed.

It was annoying.

"Hi," I heard the familiar, soft voice behind me. Bunny boy was standing looking perfect as usual. He smiled warmly at me, as if seeing me had somehow made everything better.

I hated it. I hated how good Ruka made me feel. "Nogi," I greeted him curtly. He smiled as he stalked over to me, and kissed me on the forehead, softly, shyly. I squeezed his hand for a few seconds, just wanting to let him know that I appreciated the gesture.

"Mikan-chan!" Ruka greeted the baka who was fascinated by stupid pollen flying everywhere.

"Ruka-pyon!" Mikan smiled at Nogi, who waved at her cheerfully. "Good summer huh?"

I saw Mikan drop her head and burst into waterfall tears.

It all happened very fast then.

My eyebrow twitched. Ruka blinked. And _BAKA_ _BAKA BAKA! _

Ruka was on the ground.

"Oww Hotaru what was that for?" He rubbed his temple slowly. "Don't mention summers. Or Hyuuga. At all. Do we have an understanding?"

For a minute Ruka looked up at me as if he wanted to tell me something, but then smiled and said, "understood." I gotta ask him what he wanted to say later.

More familiar faces came into view. Ogasawara and Umenomiya greeted us enthusiastically. Tobita waved timidly. Kitsumene and Yome were jerks as usual. Yome casually put his arm around Shouda, embarrassing her to no end. Thank god bunny boy is too smart to pull these tactics on me. Otonashi greeted us too, in her weird way. I rolled my eyes when she tried to scare Mikan into believing one of her prophecies.

God. I hate superstition.

We headed to the orientation. Our group was almost intimidating, with myself, Ruka, baka, Shouda, Yome, Kitsumene, Tobita, Ogasawara, Umenomiya and Otonashi sticking together like one big family.

There was only one person missing. And I was going to blast his head off when I saw him. Hyuuga.

The orientation was boring, and sitting through it needed every ounce of patience I had, especially since bunny boy had decided to keep stroking the back of hand.

I have to admit though, his hand felt kind of warm and nice.

Ugh. He's destroying me with these cutesy feelings. It's sickening.

So fast forward, crappy orientation with crappy food. Sushi and donuts? Who does that? When we were out into the entrance hall to get our schedules, I could already see trouble.

Make it double.

Mikan had done a double take and literally _FLOWN_ to Andou when she saw him from a mile. She ran into his arms and he lifted her up, twirling her before he settled her down on the ground. Her bias for this particular idiot is… beyond me.

Tsubasa and Mikan share a unique relationship. I don't question it. Tsubasa pulled out a little box, and smirked as Mikan eyes widened. She stood on her toes and pecked him on his cheek. "Uh-oh" Ruka remarked next to me.

"She's not cheating on Hyuuga. With Andou… it's different," I snapped in his direction. But his eyes were glued to Mikan's left.

Hyuuga was standing a few feet away, his eyes out to kill Andou. Before I could step in to say a word, Andou's cap was on fire, and burned to crisp. Mikan's Nullification Alice stopped him before anything else on Andou could be burned.

It seems that Mikan was aware of his presence long before Ruka… but she was… ignoring him?

Ha, I wonder how long that was going to last. "I am out," I said simply. The others followed without a word.

When it came to the Tsubasa-Mikan-Natsume triangle… we had seen too many years of it to know that it's just a messy affair.

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**A/n:** Loved it? Hated it? Wanna throw tomatoes at me? xD Just review please! Seriously it'll mean a lot. And you guys are awesome for giving it a shot nevertheless :-)


	2. Tensions

**A/n:** Thank you for the favorite and review! Though if you guys sign your reviews I'd be able to thank you properly. But THANKS nevertheless ^^ Here's chapter 2.

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_"A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding." -Bob Dylan_**  
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2. Tensions

**Mikan's POV**

I was standing with my group when I saw Tsubasa-senpai wave at me from the fountain in the main courtyard. As if it was involuntary reflex, I darted towards him and he opened his arms for me, smiling benevolently like he _always_ does.

I hugged him tight and felt warm in his embrace. We parted after a tight squeeze. His dark blue eyes looked like marbles from up front, and I could see the water of the fountain reflected on his face – the light was casting beautiful, fluid, watery shadows that moved on his cheek.

I touched the little star under his eye and he grinned at me.

"Welcome back!" He greeted me with sincere enthusiasm. "I have a present for you," said he in his soft voice. My eyes widened as I opened the little rectangular box in my hand. I pulled the ribbon quickly and couldn't stop the smile spreading on my face.

"It's a coupon for unlimited Howalons. Pick as many as you like." He offered generously.

Just then, I felt a presence, _his_ presence towards my left. Ignoring him completely, I stood on my toes and pecked senpai on his cheek to show my gratitude.

I heard a growl as Tsubasa –senpai's cap caught fire. To be honest, it startled me. Irritated, I shot a death glare in the fire-caster's direction, nullifying his next attack with my Alice.

I stole a quick glance in Hotaru's direction, to see that she was already walking away with others. Ugh. Traitors, I tell you.

Even though it had been three months since I last saw him, it felt like time had just paused and resumed. His anger, the way his eyes pulled together in concentration, eyebrows twitching, the corners of his mouth turned into a frown, hands balled into fists, jaw line tense… none of it had changed. I knew Natsume was fuming. But I didn't understand what he was angry about. All summer, I was the one who waited. I was the one who had to pick up the pieces of disappointed hopes. Then … why?

I had avoided gazing into his eyes, bright, blood red and hypnotizing but my gaze betrayed me and lingered where it shouldn't have. Straight into his. Naturally, he locked is eyes with mine, never once blinking as he walked towards me.

Before I knew it, his hand had roughly grabbed my wrist. Where his skin touched mine, electricity shot up from his touch to my toes, the tingling sensation of his touch just accelerated the blush on my cheeks. I couldn't answer him when he held me captive in his eyes like this… Stupid… handsome… Natsume.

I could feel another touch, warm and soft that jerked away my wrist from his hold. Finally broken free from Natsume's relentless eyes, which had now locked themselves with Tsubasa-senpai, I pushed him slightly in the chest, but he was unmoved, and looked at me with a bored expression.

"Keep your hands off me, little girl."

His voice had the ability to send butterflies flying straight away in my stomach. I shook my head to shake away the spell he was putting on me, and glared at him, hands balled into fists.

"_Hyuuga_, you have no right to assault Tsubasa-senpai."

I knew I touched a soft spot. For a second, I saw hurt in his eyes before he masked it, replacing it with boredom and cold indifference.

"I was just saving you from this pedophile. He shouldn't be touching underage girls." He sneered.

I would have slapped his cocky face for saying that about senpai, but Tsubasa –senpai held my hand and spoke in a cold, yet calm voice to the fire-caster.

"Natsume, I have no idea what notions you're entertaining about Mikan and me, but I am just going to say this once. I love her, but I think love means something else for both of us." He mocked.

I could sense the aura surrounding Natsume. His blood was boiling and I could literally hear it.

"Senpai… you should be heading to class," I murmured, my face hung low. Tsubasa-senpai patted my head and smiled before giving one hard, cold look to Natsume and walking away, hands in his pockets.

I turned around swiftly too, ignored Natsume completely and hopped to join my friends. I took long steps, catching up to them easily. "First class?" Koko smirked. "P.E." I found myself smiling too. "Yay!" I cheered. P.E was my favorite class. I loved the wind against my skin, blowing freely, playing with my hair, challenging and teasing me by pushing me back with its force as I ran forward. I loved the feeling of running, like I was going to reach somewhere if I just kept on going… achieve some dream.

Then I thought about… my parents.

I think of them often. I wonder why they abandoned me. People told me they died and I was taken in by an old man, who's my grandpa now. But I don't believe so. I know they are alive somewhere, but they just left me. They left me and I need to find them and just ask them … why? That's my biggest dream.

"Hello? Earth to Mikan?"

I snapped out of my thoughts as we entered the gym. Hotaru, Nonoko, Anna and I separated from the boys and went to our respective locker rooms.

I changed into my white shorts, tank top, pink pullover with "Alice Academy" on it in bright letters, and running shoes.

When I stepped out onto the field, I could see Natsume sitting on the bleachers, looking bored as the cheerleaders surrounded him and Ruka.

Luna Koziumi had her arm around his.

I felt a sharp pang of pain in my heart.

This was the worst part about P.E. The playing field was huge, which meant that boys and girls shared it and it was compulsory for all freshmen years. Basically, it was unavoidable. Seeing Natsume.

I felt a small tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Hotaru. Her amethyst eyes look strained, though they shone bright in the sun.

"Let's go baka, playing time." She smirked.

I grinned, trying to mask all the hurt. We got into positions for soccer, and Hotaru put on a mask as she resumed position of goal keeper.

I tried to ignore Natsume for a while. I loved soccer. We got to do lots of running, and we used our Alices to play. It was almost impossible scoring against Hotaru… but then again that's what made it fun.

**Natsume's POV**

What a crappy start to a crappy semester.

Mikan had been canoodling with that bastard shadow manipulator in the morning. She had ignored me afterwards, not bothering to give an explanation, and now she looked perfectly happy playing soccer, center forward, in front of me while Luna the creep said sweet nothings in my ear.

I pushed her away angrily.

Ruka apologized on my behalf and returned to cheerleader practice. Thank GOD.

"_Ahem_," Ruka coughed. I shot him one look of boredom, raising an eyebrow to beckon him to say whatever the hell he wanted to.

"Err…. Are you and Mikan still together?"

I hated this question because I didn't even know the answer to it myself. "Whatever," I said, trying to put him off, but he looked determined.

"Nat… if something happened, I just want to let you know I am here for you." He said as he smiled encouragingly at me, patting my shoulder.

Ruka would always be Ruka. I didn't need to tell him how I felt for him to know what was going on in my mind.

I was watching her intently as she kicked the ball forward, her eyes pulled together in utmost concentration, tongue between her teeth. Her face looked so funny. I laughed softly to myself.

Mikan's eyes shot in my direction. And froze. She froze.

Her breath was uneven from all the running. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead, making her bangs damp, sticking to her skin. Her legs were longer, but her height hadn't increased much. Her frame was still tiny, fragile, breakable. Her hair had grown longer since the last time I saw it, and I was so mesmerized by her that I couldn't take my eyes off her.

I could never take my eyes off Mikan.

Just then the referee blew the whistle. Persona stalked over to us, 'pissed off' written on his face in capital letters. "Hyuuga, Nogi!"

I grunted a "_Hn_," in response whereas Ruka stood up, alarmed.

"It seems you're a little too distracting for Sakura. Off with both of you."

I smirked as I saw Mikan blush redder than a tomato. She crossed her arms across her chest and walked over to coach, stomping her feet in protest.

It was a hilarious sight, tiny Mikan trying to get attention from Persona, tall as a tower. I chuckled. "Um EXCUSE ME Coach!" Mikan cleared her throat.

Persona looked down at her, lacking amusement in his eyes. "You don't need to shout Sakura. I am standing next to you."

I saw her looking flustered. Even Ruka was grinning. "Ummm, I am not distracted by Hyuuga. Or Ruka-pyon." She quickly added.

Right. I am Hyuuga? And he's _Ruka-pyon_?

I grunted. Mikan rolled her eyes. Persona looked at Ruka in disbelief. "Do I want to know?" Ruka shook his head.

"It doesn't look like that Sakura. Now back to practice. Off you go Hyuuga, _Ruka-pyon_." Persona shooed us.

I laughed as we left the bleachers. Way to go Polka dots.

Our classes were different. My courses, AP Government & Politics, Business, Math, Literature and History were only shared with Ruka, who took Math too, and Shouda who was in my Business class. Mikan and I only had Literature and PE together. Imai and Ruka had Chemistry.

That sounds so funny. Imai and Ruka had Chemistry. Nevermind.

By recess, I was already on our table with Kitsumene, Koko, Tobita, Ruka and Imai. Anna and Nonoko, Mikan's friends from Art class joined us with Mochu. Seaweed hair and Mikan were the last additions to our table.

Mikan didn't take her seat next to me as usual, but the empty seat next to Imai. I growled at her, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by anyone on the table.

Everybody could sense that something was wrong.

Throughout lunch, Mikan ignored me. She spoke to everyone about everything, but whenever anyone brought up summer, she'd avert her eyes or change the topic quickly.

I am really an ass for ditching her this summer.

Koko nodded silently. Get out of my mind now, I thought angrily and saw him 'yelp' from the other end of the table.

After recess, we went to our different classes. High school was hell, with the pressure of classes, soccer practices, AP courses, and all the internships we'd be doing this year. Plus we'd be mastering our Alices in Alice practice classes.

Those were after school hours when the non-Alice midgets went back home.

Don't blame me, all the new years are tiny midgets.

Our last period was literature, and the only seat vacant was the one next to mine. Mikan entered class and greeted everyone enthusiastically, but her eyes became dull the minute she saw me. Quietly, she walked over to me at the back of the class, and sat on the edge of her seat, furthest away from me.

I looked into her eyes seriously. I wanted her to give me a chance to explain, a chance was all I needed.

But Mikan just broke her gaze away from me, and started fiddling with her pencil.

I couldn't stop my hand as it held hers. The lights went off in class, and the teacher put on Shakespeare on the projector.

"W-what are you doing?" She spat.

"Nothing I haven't done before," I purred into her ear, breathing hot air on to her neck. Mikan turned her face to look at me slowly. I could see her chest rising and falling. "Mikan, let me explain," I pleaded.

Her eyes widened. I hadn't ever been so vulnerable to her before. But I couldn't help it. I had been dating her since elementary. Heck, I had been in love with her since elementary. And I was too deep in, to go back now.

"After class?" She breathed. I nodded. "I'll come see you tonight."

After Alice classes, we were exhausted from the day's work. Ruka and Koko were in my Special Star dorm room playing Black Ops. I sighed as I threw on my jacket. "I'll be right back," I waved at them lightly.

**Mikan's POV**

I combed my hair in frustration, tying them into a messy bun as I changed into my sleeping pj's and tank top. I brushed my teeth angrily, thinking of Natsume. When I was done, I was about to switch on the tv when there was a knock on the door.

"What do you – Tsubasa senpai!" I was a little startled to see him standing in my door way.

"Hey," he grinned. "May I come in?" I nodded and stepped aside to let him in. "Mikan—chan," he began slowly.

"What's wrong, senpai?" I asked, feeling worried.

"I am sorry for all the confusion in the morning with Natsume…" he said sheepishly as he looked out of the window. "I didn't want him to misunderstand anything, and I certainly didn't want to cause problems for you."

I walked over to him and put on my brightest smile. I caressed his cheek with my fingers and looked into his dark blue eyes. "Senpai, it's not your fault. I'll talk things out with him. He loves me, I know he does, and if we just talk about – this"

The door clicked open.

Natsume was standing in my doorway.

"What…. the…. _FUCK_ is he doing here?" Natsume's eyes were burning a fiery red flame.

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**A/n:** Aah Natsume Natsume! *smacks his head* you need anger management classes xD Please review guys! I work really hard on my chapters and I'd really appreciate it! ^^


	3. Old Beginnings and New Endings

**A/n: **High five to my new best girlfriend _jAyesque_ who is tres super. Without her encouragement, help and "you go girlfriend" I could not have finished the update so quickly xD Also, once again thank you to anyone who read, and especially those who reviewed! This update is dedicated to **Tearing Rain!** Thanks so much for taking out time to write the most awesome reviews evurr. ^^

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"_At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone."__ -__Jean de la Bruyere__  
_

**3. Old Beginnings and New Endings **

**Natsume's POV **

I really despised Andou's guts.

Not only was he getting too comfortable with _MY_ Polka, twirling her around and such, but now he was in her room at fucking midnight. It seems like he's begging for an ass whooping.

My eyes followed Mikan's hand, which was cupping Andou's face. I snarled; anger was pulsing through my veins so fast I didn't know what was over coming me. I wanted to burn this place down, but Mikan's eyes were pleading. She withdrew her hand from Andou's face and walked over to me slowly, taking one step at a time.

She cupped my face in her hands gently and looked at me with fiery determination. "Can you just _listen_?" She begged.

I didn't have it in me. I didn't have the courage to deny Mikan anything in the world, especially if she begged like this. But with everything that happened this summer, when all my demons were unleashed… and I was fighting just to breathe…

The _LAST_ thing I wanted was _Andou_ in Mikan's room at fucking midnight. It just wasn't done.

I jerked her hands roughly away from me. "You know what?" My voice was cruel. "I _DON'T_ want to know what you want to say _Sakura_. Because I know it'll all be just a load of bullshit." I spat at her before throwing my jacket over my shoulder and walking out.

I entered my room without a sound and banged the door close. I just sat on the floor, the cool wind was brushing in my face and my hair flew awry in every direction. My breathing eventually slowed, and I felt like a piece of shit.

But this was _Mikan_ we're talking about. And I just didn't like it. I didn't like how Andou thought he could just walk in whenever he pleased like he owned the place. There had to be some boundaries drawn, and _I_ was going to draw them.

There was a soft knock on the door. "May I come in?" Ruka asked sheepishly.

I made a grunting noise and he took it as a yes. Ruka tip toed into my room, hands held up high. I raised my eyebrow as I looked at him with mock disdain. "What … are you _doing_?" I frowned. "I come in peace," Ruka said slowly, like he was making it easier for me to comprehend. "Don't burn anything Natsume."

I couldn't help myself from laughing.

Knowing that he had won, that he had partially cooled my temper down enough to talk, he settled comfortably next to me, patting his rabbit.

"You went to see Mikan—chan?" He questioned very carefully, as if he was picking his words with utmost care.

"Hn," I grunted in reply.

He looked away as he continued patting his pet rabbit softly. He didn't look at me as he asked, "Did it… not go well?"

I gave him one of my classic _Is-That-Even-A-Question_ looks. Ruka sighed softly beside me. "What happened?" I chuckled darkly. "Walked in on her and _Andou_," my voice sounded mocking, even to myself.

"_Hmmm_," Ruka said simply, as if contemplating some deep secret of the universe.

I growled in his direction. "Don't _hmm_ me and tell me what you're fucking thinking!"

Ruka now met my eyes, calm and composed. "Has it occurred to you Nat, that Mikan—chan is desperately in love with you? A blind man can see it. Seriously."

I looked away, knowing I couldn't face Ruka when he was right.

"Maybe," Ruka patted my shoulder encouragingly, "you need to dig deeper. Talk to her. Couples talk about problems. I mean," his tone changed into a sour one as he said, "Hayate is always on about _Cool Blue Sky_ and I tolerate that idiot because he's Hotaru's friend, right?" Ruka sounded pathetic.

"You're so jealous," I sneered.

"Hey!" He punched my shoulder lightly. "Come on, get some sleep. And just try to talk things out tomorrow." He waved as he left my room to lounge in the living room, and I turned off the lights, lying in bed and thinking about Mikan…

**Ruka's POV**

After knocking some sense in his brain, I texted Hotaru as I slouched on the couch.

To: Hotaru  
From: Ruka

_Hotaru… I think Natsume and Mikan are in a big fight._

From: Hotaru  
To: Ruka

_How is that our problem?_

I face palmed myself.

"_Come on, just… talk to her?" :(_

From Hotaru  
To: Ruka

_Bugger off bunny man._

I sighed. No use talking to her. I had to figure out to do something on my own. Sending one last text off to her, I buried my face in my pillow. Hotaru was way beyond my level of comprehension some times.

**Hotaru's POV**

From: Nogi  
To: Hotaru

-_-"

I chuckled triumphantly, knowing I had annoyed him. I shook my head as I put away my Chemistry assignment, and punched in Mikan's number.

To: Baka  
From: Hotaru

_We need to talk. Sit with me tomorrow in Literature. That is all._

I took a deep breath. Whatever it was needed to be sorted out. Despite my cold indifference to the couple, I knew they were perfect for each other. And I didn't want these misunderstandings to take root and completely eat away at their relationship.

To: FreakyStarBoy  
From: Hotaru

_We need to talk. Meet me tomorrow before Alice classes. That is all. _

I switched off my cell phone and dug into my ebooks. All this drama was giving me a concussion.

**Mikan's POV**

I watched in horror as Natsume roughly pushed my hands away from his face. "You know what?" He seethed. "I _DON'T_ want to know what you want to say _Sakura_. Because I know it'll all be just a load of bullshit."

It was as if his words had slapped my face.

He left me there, standing there in horror, staring at his retreating figure in disbelief. When had we gotten here? Natsume had always been an angry brat, sure. But we always listened to each other and forgave each other. And now… is this what we had really come to?

I took a deep breath and turned around. My movements became slow, like there was a heavy burden on my chest. I walked over to senpai who was standing quietly as the whole episode unfolded itself in front of him, _still_ as if he was carved in stone.

When he felt my arms around him I could feel his body loosen up, and the warmth returned to his arms as he held me close. His chin rested carefully on top of my head, and I pressed my cheek into his chest, speaking in the softest of voices.

"Before you think that way, none of this is your fault."

He pushed me away gently and was about to open his mouth in protest when I shook my head vehemently. "None of this, will _ever_ be your fault. Do you understand?"

He sighed. Before he could say anything, my phone buzzed. I flipped the cover open to reveal a text.

From: Hotaruuuuuuuuuuuu ^_^  
To: Mikan

_We need to talk. Sit with me tomorrow in Literature. That is all._

"Hotaru wants to talk," Tsubasa-senpai and I said in unison. "She texted you too?" We both chorused and inevitably burst into laughter.

I loved Tsubasa-senpai's laughter. It was easy going and fluid, like water. It made me want to laugh along, like I was accompanying someone in an orchestra. I loved it when he was happy. Because he undoubtedly made me happy.

He is … _my beginning_. I was barely a few days old when someone left me on the steps of Gakuen Alice Orphanage. I grew up in a world that wouldn't hide its face. I was scared, I was alone. With no one to tell me "it's going to be alright."

When I was four years old and was being bullied by some mean kids, it was Tsubasa-senpai and Kaname-senpai who first came to my aid.

I still remember his laughter when he had saved me, and I waved my fists in front of his face, ready to strike if I needed.

From that day since now, Tsubasa-senpai and I had been inseparable.

He was an orphan too, and he understood.

When grandpa first came to the Orphanage and adopted me, I felt sad that we were parting. But I went to the village, met Hotaru, and made a best friend I knew was going to last me for a lifetime.

When she suddenly disappeared one day, I followed her to find myself in Alice Acadmey.

There… I met _my ending_. The absolute end – Natsume Hyuuga. _My last love_.

He was a perv who looked up my skirt at my polka dotted underwear, thus the hideous nickname Polka Dots. I thought I wouldn't ever get married.

What? I was naïve back then.

But now… when I look back, I wouldn't change anything. Because there's no one else I'd ever want to be with.

Now if _ONLY_ I could explain _ANY_ of this to the fire-caster with a peanut for a brain.

I sighed in defeat as I made senpai some coffee, and we sat in my terrace star gazing. "I haven't ever done this with anyone another than Natsume, star gazing, you know." I said softly.

It was dark and we could hear crickets chirping. Tsubasa senpai turned towards me, one of his arms was supporting him on the ground as he sat next to me, and the other was casually draped over his knee.

He tucked a loose strand behind my ear.

For the first time, an unknown feeling in me stirred. I had never noticed how beautiful his eyes were.

"It's getting late," I announced. These feelings… were strange. And I couldn't do this. Not to myself, not to Misaki-senpai, and definitely not to Natsume.

He looked at me and smiled – a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"It's a fleeting dream anyway." He said in almost a whisper as he walked out in the rain outside.

I could have sworn I saw a tear betray him.

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**A/n: **Review? :)


	4. Waiting For Forever

**A/n:** Thank you for all the favorites and follows, and especially for your **reviews**: _Tearing Rain, jAyesque _and_ spica 14!_ This chapter's for _spica 14_ because you asked for an update soon and I got late D: I hope this apology works for you ;D

Once again silent readers, _**please review**_. It means a lot. Honestly.

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_"Forever is not a word...rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."_

**4. Waiting For Forever**

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**Mikan's POV**

I dragged my unyielding body out of bed. It honestly felt like a sack of potatoes. I turned on the shower, letting the hot water leaving a tingling, burning sensation on my skin, yet making me feel oddly refreshed.

I threw on my uniform and shoes hastily and felt my eyes open a little as I dried and brushed my hair, though my eyelids still drooped lazily as I zombie-walked to Hotaru's special star room. She had just pulled out four slices of toasted bread, and was currently sitting with two coffee mugs on her table.

She looked up at me and gave me the slightest of nods to acknowledge my existence. Yes, you had to be Hotaru's best friend to be acknowledged by her in the mornings. Ruka—pyon used to come over for breakfast in bed in middle school… but that stuff stopped when he saw that trying to be romantic or even interacting with a sleepy Hotaru was like poking the tiger in its den. Dangerous.

We barely said a word to each other as we ate. I stuffed bacon and eggs into my mouth, slurping my coffee and wiping my face with the back of my sleeve as I leaned back in the chair and patted my stomach in circles, talking to it. Hotaru gave me her classic _You're—A—Retard_ look before returning attentively to her neat plate of scrambled eggs with cheese.

When we had finished she picked up her things and left for Chemistry without a word. Hotaru was bent on being early to all her classes and maintaining a spotless high school record. In Hotaru's family you had to earn the love of your parents by showing yourself to be worthy enough. It was sad… but deep down inside I knew that's why Hotaru worked for it, even though she said its just so she can beat Subaru's record.

My first class today was Art, so with my supplies in hand I happily skipped through the corridors towards the giant Art Room. The GA High School Art Room was huge, with a giant glass wall on one side so you could see outside for a view of objects or scenery. Thick rays of sunlight shone through the glass, and there were canvases and supplies-holders placed in one part of the room, set apart from each other by a few paces.

This class was extremely experimental, so we didn't really have a set curriculum. That's what made it so much fun. As I sat perched on my stool, legs crossed, head on my palm and gazing outside to find an object to paint, I saw Natsume sitting under the Sakura Tree. He couldn't see me, but I couldn't stop a smile from spreading on my face when I saw one of his knees propped up, a hand draped over it casually, and the other knee straightened on the damp grass, with the other arm supporting him on the ground.

With his eyes fixated on the horizon, his back leaned against the sturdy tree. His posture wasn't rigid as always, and you could see the muscles in his strong arms. His chin was titled slightly upwards and he was smiling, though very, very slightly, at the moving clouds.

Light peeped in through the spaces between the branches of the Sakura, and his eyes shone a bloody red, bathed in sunlight. His skin was pale and I could see a soft red color spread on his face – the warmth of spring.

I had found my inspiration. Well, not really. I didn't need to find him, he had been there all along.

**Hotaru's POV**

Baka looked normal in the morning, and from Ogasawara and Umenomiya's account from Art class, she had been painfully focused on her work, and didn't spare a second glance to anyone else. Well, now that sounded just about right… _not_.

Chemistry went by on a whim with Ruka on my side. He kept irritating the teacher to death with his eyes constantly watching me from the side and lips curling into his classic hopeless romantic smile, but he delivered all the correct answers in a calm and composed voice whenever a question was thrown his way. Typical Ruka.

The day went by extremely fast, and by the end of it I had a huge pile of homework. Literature was my last class of the day before Alice Practice classes. I sighed as I saw the baka wave at me excitedly from the middle row of seats in class. I mean seriously, how can I not locate her when the class only has 30 people? Why did she wave like she was in a sea of people and I was watching from the other side of the world?

Now Hyuuga was looking at me interestedly as I sat next to her. I shot him one look of cold indifference, and returned to Mikan with a bored expression as always. Great, now Hyuuga knew I had a hidden agenda. Just great.

"You… _idiot_."

Mikan pouted cutely and crossed her arms over her chest. "I am not an idiot _Hotaruuuu_!" She whined. I rolled my eyes at her attempts to be _aegyo_. Mikan was like a bubble of cuteness. I couldn't' help but smile a little.

Her eyes brightened when she saw me smile. "Say Hotaru… what did you want to talk about?" I cleared my throat as Narumi danced into the class, leaping forward with his long legs like he was running for his life. A more idiotic addition to an already idiotic class.

"Guess who's back from his Champagne trip in Paris?" He cooed.

"I wonder who." Hyuuga said in a low voice drenched in sarcasm before the class burst into laughter.

I saw Mikan turn her head around with a speed that would have broken her neck in two and glare murderously at Hyuuga, sitting at the far back end of class, before turning around to leap onto Narumi and give him a welcome back hug. Anyway, so the class went by slow, because Narumi had decided to give us a free period. He just wanted us to "enjoy ourselves." Yeah, that's what we came to do here at Gakuen Alice.

Well, the only good outcome of this was that Mikan and I could finally have The Talk.

"We need to talk," I said robotically to Mikan who's smile disappeared. "Huh? What happened?" She released immediately. I rolled my eyes. "It's not like I am breaking up with you." I informed her with marked indifference. Allow me to explain: Mikan has a theory if I ever stop talking to her it'll be worse than a break up so she keeps telling me never to break up with her. Sigh.

"What happened with Hyuuga last night?" I asked and let Mikan hit it off with a detailed account of last night's events. I knew she was honest from the weary look on her face. This destructive relationship with Hyuuga was really taking its toll on her.

"Hyuuga's a douche." I said simply after she finished, folding my hands on my lap gently. Mikan popped a vein as she waved a fist in my face. "Yah! That's your psycho-analysis?" I took in a deep breath. "But you're a blonde."

"WHAT?" She shrieked so loud that even Narumi stopped fiddling with his outrageously colorful, gay, outfit and looked up at her.

I waved my hand apologetically at Narumi to dismiss him. "_SSH_," I hissed angrily. "Look _baka_," I started but Mikan was throwing daggers at me with all her glaring. Sheesh. "Okay, look, _Mikan_," I emphasized on her name, "put yourself in Hyuuga's shoes. You know how he's protective about you right? If you sleepover more than three nights straight in my room he starts suspecting _me_ to be a lesbian." I said sourly.

Mikan and I looked at eachother in disgust and shuddered.

"_MOVING ON_," I emphasized on each syllable, "He's basically insecure by virtue of his bad experiences in life and he constantly seeks a need to completely possess the love he has in his life because he's afraid it'll leave, you'll leave."

"But— Hotaru-"

"No buts." I raised my index finger at her face and knew that I had already won. "As far as Andou is concerned I know you can't abandon him for Hyuuga and you shouldn't have to. And I know you don't entertain romantic feelings for Andou but you need to let Hyuuga know that—"

Oh no.

I saw it.

It only flashed for a second, a small pink blush on her cheeks when I said Andou and romantic feelings in the same sentence, but I saw it.

My eyes widened.

"Mikan…" I said seriously, "You don't have any feelings for Andou… do you?" I asked in almost a whisper.

Mikan looked down at her shoes and shook her head vehemently. "I don't know okay?" Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Sweet mother of Jesus Christ!

"Well… that changes… everything." I said to myself and stood up to leave as the bell rang.

**Tsubasa's POV**

With my hands in my pockets, I was sitting at the fountain with Kaname, Misaki and Hayate. We had just finished our courses for the day and were currently chilling out at our spot before the start of our Alice Practice classes with the High School Division. Kaname whistled lightly and I threw my head back, listening to the sound of water flowing in the fountain intently.

From the corner of my eye I could see Misaki stare at me, and I titled my head in her direction and smirked slightly. "Stop staring. You'll burn a hole through my face." Misaki furrowed her eyebrows and looked away, blushing madly.

I loved teasing her. She was my best friend of five years and I knew she was in love with me. Honestly, it hurt a little, knowing that I didn't return her feelings and everyday being with me, around me, hurt her.

But I just couldn't do it. Since I was a little boy, from the longest of time, I had only been in love with one little girl… _my little girl._

Footsteps echoing on the cold cement floor snapped me out of my thoughts. I smiled and did a little nod for Hotaru as she walked over to me.

"LOOK ITS COOL BLUE SKY!" Hayate screamed as he took both her hands in his. "Cool Blue Sky, just say it once, tell me that you love me."

Well, can't say he didn't ask for it.

_BAKA BAKA BAKA!_

"_Ow_…" He fell on to the floor and rubbed his head softly. "DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT OR WHAT? WASN'T THAT COOL?" He shouted at us, completely unfazed from the whole episode. Misaki, Kaname and I all burst into laughter. Hotaru rolled her eyes.

"Andou, we need to talk."

Her monotone was in tact, and Hotaru didn't show any signs of worry, which basically translated into the good news that my favorite person in the world was alright. I shrugged my shoulders casually. "Sure."

We walked away from the fountain and courtyard near the entrance of the woods. The area was secluded slightly and a few kids lingered here and here behind bushes making out. Other than that, there was no body in the vicinity.

She didn't waste any time and got straight to the point.

"Are you in love with Mikan?"

I smiled at her warmly, and clicked my tongue. "Is that even a question?" I scoffed. I loved being a goof ball around people, but deep down inside I knew that I was serious.

"No, you know what I mean, Andou," Hotaru probed me. "Do you have romantic feelings for Mikan?" She stressed on the two words romantic and feelings.

I waved both my hands in front of her dismissively.

"It doesn't matter." I said casually.

Hotaru chuckled darkly. "_Andou_, I asked you question _A_ and got answer _B_. That's _not_ how things work. So let me explain it to you because clearly, you do not seem to get it."

The atmostphere suddenly became chilly.

"I asked you a simple _yes or no_ question. And you answered doesn't matter. But you see that's not an option."

"She's with Natsume," I said stoically, all traces of a smile long gone from my face.

"What if she wasn't?" Hotaru raised her eyebrow at me.

"Well, let's say if Natsume was ever to leave her or dare to hurt her or break her down, he'd be answerable to me," I said darkly, my bangs covering my eyes.

"So that's it?" Hotaru's voice broke a little. I looked up to see a shocked expression on her usually bored face. "You're going to step in as Natsume's replacement? What about Mikan's feelings?" She barked.

"Of course," I pulled my eyebrows together. I was getting angry. "Of course her feelings come first. Why do you think I've been silent for all these years? Because I know she doesn't feel the same way about me!" I shouted.

Silence fell upon us as the leaves rustled not so far away.

"Since when…" Hotaru's amethyst eyes were cold and distant again. "Since… _when_?" She insisted.

I felt my heart beat faster as the words escaped my lips in nothing but a whisper,

**"Forever."**

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**A/n:** Loved it? Hated it? Please leave a review? Pretty please? :)


	5. His Million Dollar Smile

**A/n:** **THANK YOU for your reviews!** A big kiss for all my reviewers _jAyesque_, _TearingRain_, _spica 14_, _Xxkirbylover11xX _and _96bittersweetblackcat_! Also to everyone who read, favorite and followed, I heart you! This update is dedicated to my baby jAyesque. Your reviews turn my world upside down ;D

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Gakuen Alice. Clearly from my OOCness, I am sure you can tell. -Sigh-

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_"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ― Leo F. Buscaglia_

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**5. His Million Dollar Smile**

**Mikan's POV**

I was sitting on my balcony as tears mixed with rain flowed down my cheeks. I wiped my eyes and suppressed my sobs; I wasn't used to Natsume's coldness. Everything felt new, being alone on a Saturday night, being ignored by Natsume since three days like I was nothing to him, and these strange… new feelings for Tsubasa—senpai.

My phone buzzed inside but its sound was dulled by numb ears. My vision was hazy, as I blinked away the tears and rain and stared into the scene before me. The colors of spring, the fragrance of flowers, the dew on leaves had all heightened during the rain. I was in awe of all this beauty.

Spring… well it felt like winter to me right now. Sure, Natsume had done this before, when we were in elementary school he had disappeared in the summer only to come back in the start of middle school and act like it didn't matter. I had been okay then.

But I didn't have it in me anymore… to keep acting like it didn't mean anything. The summer was a happy time for everyone. Ruka and Hotaru used to chill at a resort owned by the Hyuuga family, take walks in the humid late nights, and Skype on the rare occurences when they _weren't_ with each other.

I was happy for them, I really was. But it couldn't stop me from noticing Natsume's marked absence in my life. I couldn't let him push me a 100 paces away every summer and then try to resume from where we left off.

And then Tsubasa—senpai. I didn't need to tell him I felt lonely for him to always show up at Hotaru's mansion where we were staying in the summer with howalons, candy, and every possible sugary gooey substance you can imagine. We would stuff ourselves to the point we cried and watch romantic comedies. We would sit and talk for hours about things that made me upset, things that were on my mind – and he always listened like there was no where else he'd rather have been.

Suprisingly, I'd never _want_ the same thing from Natsume, or even _expect_ it. I knew his family burden was huge, he wasn't an orphan like me and Tsubasa—senpai. They were polar opposites. From Natsume, only a text… or a brief one minute call… a Skype message, a facebook inbox, a twitter tweet… _anything_ would have meant _everything_ to me. Anything to let me know he remembered that I existed, that he cared whether I was alive or dead through the whole summer.

I needed to hold on to something. _But there was nothing there for me to hold onto._

Finally, I allowed myself to get up from an hour's worth of soaking and dragged my body, which suddenly felt heavy, to the shower. I turned on the tap, the warmness of the water against my freezing cold skin sent shivers down my spine.

When I changed into my shorts and tank top, I realized I was coming down with a fever. And a bad one at that.

I dried my hair, removing any traces of water from the long wavy tips. With a glass of lukewarm water, I swallowed two pills and with my cell phone in hand, snuggled with my comforter beneath the warm sheets.

It was unsually cold for spring, and soon after I felt myself shivering uncontrollably. I had 16 missed calls from Hotaru, and I knew she'd be freaking out. It was a Saturday night, and Hotaru went back to her mansion on the weekend.

Sumire and most of the other kids returned to their homes too. Of course… I didn't have anywhere to go to.

I texted Hotaru.

**To: Hotaruuuuu ^_^**  
**From: Mikan**

_Hotaruuuuu ^_^ I love you! Kekeke~ Sorry for not answering your calls, I was studying! I am too tired to text now, so I'll see you tomorrow mmkay? *huuuuuuug*_

I pressed the send button and put my cell phone away, only to pick it up seconds later. Boy this girl knew how to text at the speed of light.

**From: Hotaruuuuu ^_^**  
**To: Me**

_I am not stupid. You're probably crying your butt off for Hyuuga. I'll come see you tomorrow and pick up the pieces. Try not to make too much of a mess._

I face palmed myself. Why do I even _try_ sounding happy for Hotaru when I am not? Clearly, all these years of friendship have made her immune to my pathetic lying skills. But she really was… something. She knew exactly what I was feeling, and in many ways, she was closest to what I had of family.

_Family_.

I had forgotten that word for a while, but right now it slapped me in the face. Tears formed in my eyes, stinging the edges, threatening to fall out any second I let my defenses down.

Why did my parents abandon me? I am sure they… they _must_ have loved me. _Surely_, they loved me right?

I could feel my heart physically hurting right now.

Just then there was a soft knock on my door. I wiped my almost-tears away and put on a big smile. "Come in!" I croaked.

I saw dark blue hair, damp from the rain. The corners of perfect lips turned into a smile that could outshine the sun. I saw smoldering dark blue ocean eyes, you could drown in those. And gentle, but firm hands full of two huge bags.

"I thought you were just lazy, but your voice gave it away," he said in his soft voice, the _softest_, _gentlest_ voice in the whole world to me.

"Just a little upset," I hinted. If I was a horrible liar to Hotaru, then lying to Tsubasa—senpai was just as useless. "What's in the bags?" I asked curiously, craning my neck up like a giraffe. "It smells soooo good," I could feel my mouth water.

Tsubasa—senpai took the bags into my small kitchen, and returned with two steaming bowls of soup. "Takeaway," he grinned at me.

"Are you _SERIOUS_?" I couldn't help but laughing. It's like Tsubasa—senpai had a timer fixed inside of him or something. He just had perfect timing. He was there for the littlest of things, and at the exact times I really needed them.

"_Oh_… _oh_… _oh_… lovely, _oh_ sweet smell of fooooood!" I announced like a glutton as I filled my spoon with a large amount of soup and slurped it away in seconds.

I saw Tsubasa—senpai chuckle as he slurped his own soup. Yeah, there was no need for good eating manners around Tsubasa—senpai. He was too easy going, like music.

When we had finished our food, which was two large servings of red prawn soup, chicken drumsticks, egg friend rice and kungpao chicken, and my favorite, chowmein, Tsubasa—senpai cleared the dishes without any help from me. Ugh, he was too nice for his own good.

I tried to get up to wash my hands, but he pushed me back down promptly on my bed.

"_Stay_," he commanded with a smirk.

I found myself smiling as he entered with a big bowl full of water and napkins. He took my hands in his, I could feel my heart beat rising, and dipped them in the water. He cleaned my fingers tenderly and then using dry napkins wiped the remaining water away. He held my hands in his for a while, gently stroking them.

_His eyes were bewitchingly beautiful._

He held my gaze; even then, his eyes were not demanding but _yielding_. Like he would look away the second I wanted him to, but the strange part was… I didn't want to look away.

"Hey you," he said, flashing his friendly smile.

I felt a blush creeping up to my cheeks and I looked down at the sheets. He let go of my hands instantly and rose in a fluid motion, walking over to the counter and putting away the bowl and throwing away the used napkins.

I watched him as he sang for me while doing the dishes. His voice flirted with the notes of the song, he adjusted the key to his soft voice, and even the angriest of songs sounded funny and melodic when he sang it.

I laughed as he wiped some dish washing soap away from his nose and tossed the apron away. He sat on the edge of my bed, holding one of my hands; with the other free hand I held my comforter up to my chest. I smiled at him, my eyes felt heavy, and a small yawn escaped my lips.

He chuckled and then I felt his soft fingers in my hair.

"Will you _please_ get some rest now?" He raised one of his eyebrows as he flashed me a lopsided grin. I nodded. That was one of the nicest things about senpai. He offered himself graciously, and never demanded a return from anyone.

"Tsubasa—senpai?" I asked in a drowsy voice, sleep overcoming me.

He looked into my eyes, blue meeting brown like the most natural thing in the world.

"If I go to sleep like this, you'll be the first person I'll see when I wake up right?" I whispered the words. I saw his blue orbs widen before he said, softly, ever so softly,

"I'll still be here when you wake up."

I felt my own lips return the smile on his as my eyes closed with the reassurance that I was not going to be alone, now, or ever.

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**A/n:** I know this a TsuxMikan chapter, but please bear with me ^_^ More NatsuxMikan moments coming up later. Once again, before leaving this page, **PLEASE REVIEW**. You know I love you. ;D


	6. Words

**A/n:** Shout out to the greatest people on this site, my friends/critics/reviewers. Thanks for voicing out your thoughts, they are **always **appreciated: _jAyesque_, _Tearing Rain_, _spica 14_, _xXkirbylover11xX_, _96bittersweetblackcat_, _bullsh.t,_ _Block Out Noise_ and lastly, _Autumn Win-Dow_.

**Spoilers**: This chapter is a little emo. Expect OOCness from Natsume.

**DISCLAIMER** I am too uncool to own Gakuen Alice. That be old school stuffs. "Natsume's song" is inspired by "Words" - Skylar Grey. (Same key) I do not own anything except the OOCness. Thanks.

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"_A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." – Ingrid Bergman_

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**6. Words**

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**Natsume's POV**

I dragged my fingers across the white wood surface of my grand piano. The massive, beautiful beast was placed in the center of the hall which used to be the ball room once upon a time. Its perfectly smooth surface was dusty and I couldn't help but examining the tips of my fingers. They were ashen. But that's what this piano was for me, too: the ashes of a burned memory.

The ball room was mom's favorite part of our mansion. Every Christmas, she'd host a huge Christmas ball and with her match making skills she'd be happy to see couples confessing, old lovers reuniting– all of that crap she used to live for. She was the only softie in the Hyuuga family and the greatest mother a child could have wished for – _the greatest mother in the world._

The ball room, which now remained closed in an isolated part of this enormous mansion, was also home to father's most secret masterpiece. It covered a giant space on the towering wall, and any 6 feet tall man looked miniature while standing in front of it. On the stained glass window my father had painted his long time lover. Her head is titled downwards, ivory hair draping along the length of her pointed chin, long swan-like neck and slender shoulders. There is a coy smirk playing on her rosen lips, I inherited it from her. And _eyes_— glistening like rubies, searching, amused, even strangely aloof, peeping from behind the curtain of lush hair and staring straight into the soul of the looker.

When the light shines through the stained glass its like nature is submitting itself to a timeless beauty. _Karou Hyuuga_ – my mother.

When the sunrises, the whole room lights up like a kaleidoscope of budding colors – in every direction mother's essence lights up the room, a tinge of crimson on every furnishing, from the chandelier to the lavish rugs. And this grand piano which she loved playing so much.

I played a single key on the keyboard. The note reverberated through the perfect stillness of room like sirens lulling sailors to their final rest.

I sat myself down; the sun was going to set on me soon. I caressed the tips of the soft keys under my fingers and closed my eyes as I listened to their story. And then I heard my own voice break into a song.

_I'm always drifting through  
The maze in my mind when I should  
Make my love known to you_

She had been waiting _all summer_, for a call, for a text … for _anything_ to hold on to. I knew how she felt about me, how she _needed_ me— how she needed me to remind her, all the time, that I wasn't going to abandon her.

_I know I said I'll see you soon  
And I broke those promises  
__As swiftly as I had made them_

I was alone. I was hurting. I wanted to let her in but in trying to protect her I knew I was destroying what I loved most. And soon, there wouldn't be any time left for any explanations.

_I knowthat I messed up  
And now your hurt face's stuck in my head_  
_I know you don't want to hear me anymore_

That night when I screamed at her… I tried to tell her through the cruel words that cut her deep. I tried to show her my love beneath the raw anger that engulfed me seeing her with someone else.

_I have so much I want to say  
Get tangled in your brown locks and lose my way  
But I know that you don't want to hear me anymore_

No. I don't want to say goodbye. She's the only woman I'll ever love. And I wasn't ever going to let her go.

_I am alone, inside my head_  
_With my regrets_  
_And as I drown in broken promises_  
_I can't take back the words that I said_

Why couldn't I say it? Why couldn't I hold on to her and tell her that she was safe in my arms. Why couldn't I tell her that listening to her heart beat is the only sound my ears will ever know?

_I'm always talking shit  
Going around like you mean nothing  
I guess I've never been more stupid_

I wanted to be twice the man I was for her. Since she had stepped into my life every moment with her made me step further and further away from my darkness until I found my way with her. I don't want to start again as a lost boy. She made me the man I am.

_I am not the man you wanted me to be  
But if you'd stayed around long enough  
__maybe one day I'd be him_

Was it too late to turn back now? Had I lost her to Andou? Had I lost her forever?

_The longer I wait for myself  
The longer it takes to get back  
I know I'm losing my mind_

_Your silence is killing me inside  
So I try to talk to your shadows  
They don't even recognize me anymore_

And the silence between us when we passed each other at lunch, or when I stole a glance or two in class… seemed like the most unnatural thing in the world. She was the loud, noisy, polka-dotted panties girl who knew I was hers the minute she cast her spell on me. _I was hers._

___I am alone, inside my head_  
_With my regrets_  
_And as I drown in broken promises_  
_I can't take back the words that I said_

I wanted to say things – but she knew me. I am not a man of many words, I've never been. I guess I was a coward for hurting her the way I did every summer. But… but… how could I tell her where I really was during that time? How could I _ever_ tell her?

"Are you going to tell her what happened in the summer?" I heard a familiar voice resonating through the hall.

Ruka's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I shut the piano's lid close. The sun was setting, casting an orange light through the stained glass window into the hall tinted with crimson and ivory.

"It'll be dark here soon, you know," Ruka's voice was low, but the truth in his words rang clearly in my ears. After the sun set on me, on mother, the room turned pitch black, because father had all the lights removed from this room, all the furnishings covered. He didn't want any memory of her betrayal lingering in his haven.

I lifted myself from the bench and walked straight past Ruka, leading myself towards the exit. "I heard your song." I flinched as I stopped in my tracks. "Don't live in regrets. If she loves you, like I know she does, none of it will matter anyway," he said casually. "And if you're not planning on telling her, _I will_." As I heard those words I ran out of the hall, into the corridor that lead to the dining hall, and straight out the majestic wooden doors, onto the serpentine pavement leading me towards my heavy bike.

I climbed on and my bike roared to life. I carelessly tossed my helmet onto my head. In minutes, I was speeding away to my precious person.

**Mikan's POV**

When the first rays of the sun first hit my eyes like a big yellow school bus, I snarled in my morning rage and found my chocolate orbs squinting out of control. I blinked a few times and glanced at Tsubasa—senpai, sleeping peacefully next to me. His cheek was pressed against the bed, and the rest of him was sprawled uncomfortably on the floor. One of his hands was holding mine tightly in its gentle grip while the other acted as a pillow for his cheek.

I caressed the star on his cheek and frowned as his lips curved up to a smile, eyes still closed. "If you want to know," he said in his sleepy, huskier-than-usual voice, "I use baby oil." His eyes flew open to meet mine, eyelids droopy with the little sleep that remained in them as he added with a smirk, "And _that, _my little Mikan, is the secret to my ultra soft skin."

I rolled my eyes at my goofy, fun loving senpai and shook my head seriously. "You shouldn't have stayed." I propped myself up on the bed, my eyes locked with his.

"I promised you didn't I?" He titled his head straight as he rested his chin on his hand. "I can't break a promise I make to you. Not now not ever."

I found myself blushing, and couldn't help but pulling my hand out of his grip and rushing to the bathroom after shooting him a small, understanding smile.

I turned on the hot tap and stared at myself in the mirror. My heart was pounding in my chest. It wasn't like his touch electrified me, like Natsume. Just the things he said made me question my feelings for him. Was I starting to see senpai as something else?

I was too lost in my thoughts to notice that I had spent 2 hours in the shower. I gasped as I turned the tap off and dressed in my favorite blue denim skinny jeans, yellow flip flops and a bright yellow blouse. I let my hair loose and wore a butterfly shaped necklace. It took me 10 minutes to dry my hair and clip a gold butterfly pin to hold my bangs back.

When I stepped out I noticed that Tsubasa—senpai was long gone. I sighed as I flipped my phone open to check my messages.

**2 new messages.**

From: Tono—senpai ^_^  
To: Me

_Hey. Tsubasa is back in the dorm. He looks exhausted. Before passing out, he was mumbling "She takes too long in the shower." Woah, I wonder what you guys where upto ;) Don't keep me missing in the *cough* action *cough* okay? ;) I know why you took so long in that shower? ;D_

Ugh. Tono—senpai was way too complicated for me. What does he mean by "I wonder what you guys were upto?" Well… nothing special really. Just takeaway and talking but that's our thing. And how does he know why I was taking so long in the shower? Does he know about my feelings for Tsubasa—senpai?

I gasped. Oh no…. no no no no no no no. I need to ask Hotaru what this means. Forwarding her the text, I added in the last line.

_Please decipher Tono—senpai's coded message for me? X_X_

From: Ruka-pyon ^_^  
To: Me

_You hungry? I am thinking dinner. (: _

I smiled as I read the second text. Quickly, I punched in a reply.

To: Ruka-pyon ^_^  
From: Mikan

_MMMMM. Food can never go wrong with me, Ruka-pyon! __ I'll see you tonight then, at 9. Central town, kkkk? (: _

My cell phone buzzed.

From: Hotaruuuuu ^_^  
To: Me

_He's implying that you and Andou were having sexual intercourse last night. Furthermore, he is suggesting that you were masturbating in the shower (possibly thinking of him). I hope neither is true or I am replacing Amanatsu with you forever. _

A vein popped in my head. That…. _Perv_…. Tono—senpai….! UGH. My cheeks flushed red and I wanted to strangle him. And WAY TO GO HOTARU.

To: Hotaruuuuu ^_^  
From: Me

_You THINK? And gee, thanks for making it sound like headline news. -_-" _

To: Tono—senpai ^_^  
From: Me

_YOU WANNA DIE?! _

Fuming, I tossed away my cell phone.

I still had the whole day to myself so I decided to tackle the untouched pile of homework on my desk first. Like a knight I threw on my metaphorical gauntlets and prepared myself for hours of torture – the worst a teenager can ever get; the four letters I despised to the core: MATH.

I groaned in annoyance as I ruffled my hair and blew air into my cheeks. With a frustrated sigh, I got the answer wrong for the 5th time. Don't blame me: Jinno—sensei's homework was ingeniously designed to never make sense.

By the time I was done it was already sunset. I had spent my entire Sunday afternoon on homework, but I was glad that I was studying in the first week of school. This way I wouldn't be cramped up in the last few weeks before exams.

I straightened my hair and put on some strawberry flavored lip gloss. Happily, I shoved some money in a small wallet, which I then tucked away in my back pocket. I found my cell phone lying on a large pile of laundry.

I flipped it open to see a single text message.

From: Perv  
To: Me

_Let's talk._

I could literally feel my heart sinking… It dropped down three floors right to my stomach and I could feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes. "Let's talk" is never a good sign. Sumire once told me that any boyfriend who says "let's talk" wants to clearly break up with you.

A series of thoughts ran through my head. Yes, sure, I had had enough of Natsume pushing me away every summer. But it didn't' mean I wanted to break up with him. Natsume was my first and last boyfriend. If I had known love from elementary school it had been Natsume. If I had kissed someone every year on Christmas and proclaimed my love that had only been Natsume. If I ever exchanged Alice Stones and made promises meant to be kept forever it was only…

I paced around my room, not knowing what to say or do. I bit my lip in anticipation, the cheap thrill of the moment was pushing me over the edge of myself. I glanced at the clock, it had already been 15 minutes since I received his first text in 3 months. I sighed as I turned to leave, deciding not to wait for him any longer.

Just then, the door clicked open. Of course, Natsume had keys to my room!

_I froze_ in my steps, lips parted slightly as I saw him walk in. His eyes carried that aloof, teasing emotion effortlessly, and my eyes followed his movements, advancing in my direction.

He walked over to me slowly, tantalizingly. I took a few steps back, until my back met a solid surface supporting my spine. Natsume's hands swiftly caught my wrists, pinning them to the hard, cool, wall. We stayed there for a moment as he just stared into my eyes with that piercing gaze, then... he closed in… his eyes _still_ on mine as if he was searching for something.

His mesmerizing crimson eyes stared into mine, momentarily catching me off guard, as he leaned in to seal my lips with his.

I felt myself melt into his kiss, so warm and tender.

My eyes widened – chocolate orbs transfixed with his hypnotizing red. I could see a faint blush creep onto his face, the subtlest pink, making me smile against his oh-so-soft lips, before his eyes shut to avoid my gaze.

My eyes followed suit. I pushed myself into the kiss, craning my neck as an unfamiliar feeling washed over me. Taking the hint he obliged by deepening the kiss. His lips were gentle against mine; soft but _urgent_. His body language demanded that I put every inch of myself into the kiss... _and I did._ Slow, shaky breaths grazed my lips as he parted his mesmerizing, mile-long lashes brushed my cheekbones as he opened his heavy lidded eyes slowly, teasing me.

"What do you think, _Polka_? _Still_ going to resist me?" He purred.

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**A/n: **It's getting too hot in here, yes? *fans self* Added a special NxM moment for my readers, sorry it came in so late. I had a little help with this chapter from my Beta/Best friend/ Favorite critic _jAyesque_. So kudos to you for your help - couldn't have done it without you!

Before you leave, please review? It only takes like a second and it can make me happy for days? ;D


	7. New Rivals

**A/n:** Time for another update! -cracks knuckles- I can do this! I am a badazz hunky dude! (Well, not really but never mind) -sigh- Dedicated to everyone who takes time out to review: _jAyesque_, _Tearing Rain_, _spica 14_, _xXkirbylover11xX_, _96bittersweetblackcat_,_bullsh.t,_ _Block Out Noise_ and lastly, _Autumn Win-Dow_. You guys keep me going with this stuffs, so thanks a gazillion.

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_"It is not love that is blind, but jealousy." - Lawrence Durrell_

**7. New Rivals**

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**Ruka's POV**

I glanced around the crowded restaurant in Central Town. I would have preferred something more… _private, _perhaps? But I knew that Mikan hated fancy places. I still remember trying to take her out in elementary school, before she started dating Natsume. She puked out all the caviar I got her into eating.

I shuddered at the memory.

When she was already 15 minutes late, I couldn't help but send in a text her way.

To: Mikan—chan  
From: Me

_Hey Mikan—chan. I ordered a Big Mac upsize meal for you with large fries and a large Coke. Too bad though, since I think you're not showing up… :(_

Voila. Bribe Mikan with food. That's my strategy.

Within thirty seconds, my phone buzzed.

From: Mikan—chan  
To: Me

_NONONONONO Ruka—pyon! I crashed into Natsume on my way out. Just getting rid of him -_- So so so so so so sorry. DON'T THROW AWAY MY FOOD! T^T_

I chuckled. Mikan was adorable that way. Not to mention, she was extremely simple to manipulate.

"You're smiling at your cell phone from a text _clearly_ not sent from me because _I_ don't recall sending you one and expecting _someone else_ for dinner," a cold yet familiar voice echoed behind me.

I turned around slowly, my breath stuck in my throat as I saw Hotaru standing a few steps away from me, arms crossed, cheeks red, and eyes bored as usual with a slight tinge of…

What's this? _Jealousy_?

I smirked, knowing this was my golden opportunity. "Yeah this old girlfriend I am seeing. No big deal," I tried to sound nonchalant.

She raised her eyebrow at me before her lips formed a thin line. "I see."

She turned to leave but stopped in her tracks when I snaked my arms around her waist, hugging her from behind.

"_Tch_, what did I say about PDA Bunny Boy?" She snarled through gritted teeth.

"_Sssh_," I blew air into her ear and saw her usually bored face redden. I knew she thought I was too bold to ever try something like this, but I could feel my heart pounding and an annoying voice at the back of my head saying, "YOU GO GLENN COCO." _Seriously?_

_Goodbye balls, Hotaru will probably make meat balls and spaghetti with you tonight._ I gulped as I spun her around.

Her eyes were alarmed; posture _stiff_— like she was ready to throw a punch at a person she couldn't see. She looked confused, and her mouth had turned into a frown in annoyance. Her eyes widened as I crashed my lips onto her, putting both hands on the sides of her waist and gently pulling her close to me. My lips demanded entrance, which she hesitantly allowed me, and my tongue found itself probing hers.

For a moment I thought she'd push me away.

But she surprised me by actually _responding_.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw hers were tightly shut, a huge blush on her pale cheeks. I dived into her mouth, one of my hands reaching for her hair as I pulled her into my kiss.

Slowly, _very slowly_, we parted for lack of air.

"_UMMMMM_," I heard an awkward voice behind us. I looked over Hotaru's shoulder to see Mikan blinking, her eyes looked like someone had glued her eyelids on her face and she couldn't blink to save her life.

She coughed awkwardly and took two steps towards us, not sure what had just happened. _Hell_, even I didn't know what had happened!

I sent her a small smile and waved lightly, to which Hotaru snapped her head in Mikan's direction. Her eyes softened when she saw Mikan. She then turned towards me with a murderous glare in her eyes.

"You took Mikan out _ONCE_. And that was like, in elementary school, you moron." She spat before walking away. She stopped, nodded at Mikan who looked at her in horror and said to her quite calmly, "we need to talk. I'll come by later," before marching right out of the exit.

My heart was pounding so fast I hadn't even known what overcame me!

_What just happened?!_

"What just happened?!" Mikan echoed my thoughts as she sat down next to me, looking pale and sick. "I heard a voice at the back of my head – telling me,"

"Telling you to _make out_ with her? _AT MCDONALDS_?!" Mikan announced. People who had missed the public make out action and had just walked in the entrance were now totally in on the gossip.

"Why don't we just alert the media?" I said in a low voice and saw Mikan wave both her hands in front of me apologetically. "I'm sorry Ruka—pyon! I didn't mean to shout."

I smiled at her and tilted my head sideways, resting my chin on my hand, folded into a fist. "Don't worry about it, sorry you had to see that."

"Oh it's okay," she murmured softly. As if on cue, the waiter set down two trays in front of us. "Woah!" Mikan exclaimed as she quickly unwrapped her Big Mac and dug her teeth into it, taking a big bite. "Heaven…." She commented appreciatively as the taste of chicken and ketchup sent her straight on cloud 9.

I took a sip of my own large Coke and popped a French fry into my mouth. "So… you said you crashed into Natsume on your way here?" I asked gently, remembering her text from before.

Mikan nodded her head vehemently, still too aloof of my intentions as she happily devoured the Big Mac. I sighed.

"Did he tell you… anything?"

Mikan rolled her eyes, momentarily taking her eyes off from the food and pouting at me, "He just forced kissed me, and made me tell him I love him. Then he smirked like the arrogant asshole he is and walked away," she shrugged her shoulders before finishing the last of her Big Mac.

I stayed silent while she ate her fries. When she was finished, she wiped her lips with the napkin and taking a sip from her large Coke blinked at me with her innocent chocolate orbs.

"What's wrong, Ruka—pyon?"

I deliberated whether to tell her or not. A part of me, as her friend, as someone who deeply cared for her, and as someone who knew that this was the _right thing_ to do shook my inner conscience. I wanted her to know the truth, which would hurt her much, much more later.

But a part of me, too big to ignore, was Natsume's friend. The way he was acting was cowardly, sure, but maybe it was him trying to protect his relationship. After all, would Mikan even _want_ to be with him if she _knew_?

I sighed.

I felt Mikan's small hand on top of mine. An encouraging smile graced her reddish lips as she smiled benevolently at me.

"You don't have to tell me now, if you don't want to Ruka—pyon. But if it's something bothering you, you know I'll always be here to listen, right?" She smiled cheerfully at me.

"That's true," I grinned back at her. Just them my phone buzzed.

From: Hayate the Moron  
To: Me

_IS IT TRUE YOU KISSED MY COOL BLUE SKY?! YOU'RE DEAD TOMORROW NOGI!_

What the fuck? Who told him? And what does he mean I'm dead? I can't kiss my own friggin' girlfriend?!

From: Nat  
To: Me

_Please don't tell her anything. I'd rather be the one to tell her. Just give me time. Okay?_

I literally had a headache now, from all this drama. I stole a quick glance at Mikan—chan, who seemed to be distracted by something.

"Say, Ruka—pyon… isn't that Tsubasa—senpai?" She said, looking quite confused.

I craned my neck up to see Tsubasa indeed sitting at a corner table with Misaki. They looked like they were arguing about something.

"Yeah, wanna go see what they are upto?" I offered immediately. Maybe this way Mikan would forget asking me why I called her to dinner.

"Mmm!" She nodded in agreement as we both rose instantly from our seats and walked over to them.

**Tsubasa's POV**

"Why did you spend all of last night in her room?!" Misaki shrieked and I could swear a couple sitting across from us shot me a nasty glare. I probably looked like a cheating asshole to them. Thanks Misaki.

"Calm your tits, please," I joked, knowing I'd get on her nerves. She blushed furiously, before waving her fist in my face. "CALM YOUR TITS? _THAT'S_ your apology?" Oh boy. A guy two tables away from us snickered, and his girlfriend slapped him on the face.

Suddenly, all of McDonalds was involved in our drama.

I knew the time for joking around was over. I put on my serious face and fixated my eyes on my pink haired best friend. "She was down with a fever. I took in takeaway. We talked. I fell asleep holding her hand. Came back in the morning."

Misaki deliberated whether she was pissed at my story or not. Then she probed, "So… you fell asleep _with_ her?"

"Technically yeah, I mean at the same time." I told her honestly.

Misaki smacked my head. "_Ow_!" I protested but I could see steam rising from her head. "You slept in the same bed as an underage girl?!"

One of the girls from a group of 5 girls sitting behind us dropped her fry as she covered her mouth, stifling a gasp. I chuckled at her nervously before shouting out, "It's nothing!"

Then I turned to Misaki. "I didn't know you meant that. What I meant was, I slept on the floor, holding her hand. Well my head was on the bed. Sort of. UGH it's difficult to explain!" I threw my hands up in defeat. "Remind me _why_ we are having this conversation again?" I spat.

"Tsubasa—senpai?"

I turned my head around so fast I could have sworn I heard my spine snapping. Mikan was pouting slightly, one hand on her hips and head tilted slightly.

"Why are you fighting with Misaki—nee chan?" She chastised me. Since we were kids, Mikan wanted to hook me up with Misaki. I let out an exasperated sigh before pointing my finger between her eyes.

"_SHE_ started it!"

I earned a "_WHAT_?!" of disbelief from Misaki and chuckled, only to break into a full—fledged laughter seconds later. Misaki couldn't help but laugh too and the tense cloud had seemed to lift for a while.

"What are you doing here, Mikan—chan?" Misaki asked Mikan cutely as she pinched her cheeks. I smiled warmly at my best friend. Despite having feelings for me since we were kids, she held nothing against Mikan for being the object of my own affections.

"On a date with Nogi? _Huh huh_?" She smirked evilly as she elbowed Mikan lightly.

Any traces of a smile disappeared from my face. I knew it wasn't true, yet I was oddly jealous of Misaki's remark. Misaki turned around to quickly give me one of hers _Like-That-Shadow-Man _looks. I rolled my eyes. Trying to make me jealous. So petty.

Mikan shook her head and waved her small hand at Misaki lightly. "No no Misaki—senpai. Ruka—pyon was just treating me to dinner. He wanted to talk about something!" She announced and then paused suddenly, tilting her head upwards to look at Ruka, who had grown several inches taller than he was in middle school. "Speaking of, what _did_ you want to talk about, Ruka—pyon?" She batted her eyelashes innocently at him.

I saw Ruka flinch and dismiss her words uncomfortably. "Nothing important Mikan—chan. Oh wait, I have to take this," he frowned. "_Bonsoir_!" He said into the receiver phone before walking a few steps away from us.

A minute later, he strolled back, "_En moment, maman_," he said into the receiver before shooting Mikan a look of apology, "Mikan—chan, my mother needs to see me urgently, tonight. She sounds mad, is it okay if Misaki and Tsubasa drop you back to the dorm?"

Mikan smiled back quickly at the Animal Pheromone. "Of course, Ruka—pyon. Just take care of things at home." I smiled to myself. Mikan was very generous with her friends. That was one of the reasons I adored her. Why do I sound so lovesick all the time?

"Yo! Misaki! Tsubasa!" I heard a familiar voice and my ears perked up. Tonouchi strolled up to his and lazily put his arm around Mikan, staring into her eyes like the moron he is. I could feel Mikan totally oblivious of his perverted stare.

"Tono—senpai!" She greeted him sweetly.

"_Hands off_, Tono," I warned him coolly. Misaki gave me the classic _Calm-Your-Tits_ look. Was she trolling me right now?

Tono took my hint and removed his arm before walking over to Misaki. "Need you back at the common room for test prep. Hayate and Kaname asked me to get you. Can you come?"

Mikan looked between Mikan and myself. I knew she was reluctant to me on my own with Mikan.

"Um, yeah, okay. Bye ShadowMan," she stuck her tongue out at me, before flinging her arms around Mikan's slender neck. "Byyyeeeeee Mikan—chan!"

"Ready to go?" I asked Mikan as she gave me a small nod.

I held the door for Mikan as she hopped in, before hopping in myself and turning on ignition. It was drizzling outside. The water's rhythm against my windscreen was playing a soft melody, and the silence between Mikan and me filled the car with a moment of peace not unknown to us.

We drove quietly to the High School Division Girls Dorm. I stole a few glances Mikan's way and always found her looking at me with a confused expression on her face. I wondered what she was thinking about.

I parked outside and rushed out to open Mikan's door. She smiled as she hopped off and almost slipped because of the wetness of the road before I caught her in my arms.

Our lips were dangerously close as I held her, and I could feel time stop itself to give us our moment. It felt like this moment was tailor-made for me– to give me that sweet, lingering kiss I had dreamt of my whole life. I saw Mikan's eyes widen as I leaned in, I could feel my heart beat in my ears and every other sound was dulled down.

That's when I sealed her lips with my own.

**Mikan's POV**

When Ruka—pyon left, I didn't mind being driven home by Tsubasa—senpai. There was a quiet drizzle outside, and I enjoyed the sound of raindrops falling onto the car's roof. I traced patterns on my window, fascinated by the rain. It always made me happy.

I stole a few glances at Tsubasa—senpai. He looked really handsome in his full sleeved black t-shirt, and fitted leather black pants. I couldn't help but admire his strong arms and the darkness of his blue eyes, focused on the road. Every now and then, he caught me staring at him. I didn't look away.

When the car stopped, I checked my pockets to make sure I didn't forget anything. Before I could open the door, Tsubasa—senpai was holding it open for me. He was always the gentleman.

I smiled before hopping out of the car when I didn't feel the concreteness of the road under my feet.

Before I could come to terms with the realization that I was slipping, I was already in Tsubasa—senpai's strong arms, the arms I had been staring at throughout the ride.

They felt even better when they were around me. _Wait, why did I just think that?_

I could feel my heart beat rise as his eyes searched mine for some unknown clue. He seemed to be in some sort of predicament. It became pretty clear when he leaned in. I could feel his cologne, soft and sweet, mixed with the lingering smell of rain.

Was he going to… _kiss me?_

My thoughts were answered as I felt soft lips against mine, making my body heat up. My orbs widened, taking in sight Tsubasa—senpai, whose eyes were closed, long, black lashes that went for mines tickling my cheekbones.

I was too shocked to breathe, or even move. _Why was Tsubasa—senpai kissing me_? Why did the taste of his lips wet from the rain feel so _good_? But most importantly, why couldn't I respond?

His lips suddenly released mine as I heard a loud growl. In seconds, Natsume had appeared out of thin air, dragged Tsubasa—senpai off me and punched him hard in the face.

I gasped as Tsubasa—senpai's nose bled in front of my eyes. I turned around to recognize Sumire, Nobara, Anna and Nonoko, among other girls gathered outside the dorm.

I turned back to look at Natsume who had Tsubasa—senpai sprawled across the floor. He was holding him down with his weight as he sat on top of him, throwing punches around ruthlessly.

"_GET OFF HIM!_" I screamed in horror as he rearranged Tsubasa—senpai's face. I tried to get Natsume off Tsubasa—senpai to no avail. He easily sent me tumbling back a few steps with one hand before grabbing Tsubasa—senpai's t-shirt and lifting him up. He glared into his eyes, gluing crimson to blue. "How _DARE_ you?!" He barked before a blast of fire sent Tsubasa—senpai tumbling a few steps back.

I had nullified it before it could even graze Tsubasa—senpai.

He now pounced on Natsume, trapping his shadow with his Alice. Natsume was still as stone. Tsubasa—senpai was about to throw a punch at him when a sound from somewhere inside me screamed out at the top of my lungs, "_DON'T HURT HIM_!"

He stopped.

I stopped.

Time had stopped.

I must have looked miserable to him because he unconsciously withdrew his Alice. I heard a loud groan escape his lips as Natsume punched him in the stomach, sending blood out of his nose.

"_STOP IT HYUUGA_!" I heard Hotaru's voice.

My knees were weak and wobbly and I couldn't support myself on my two legs anymore. Within seconds, I was on the floor. Rain was falling all around me and Tsubasa—senpai's usually happy, handsome face – the face that always kept me alive with its soulful smiles was badly bruised. My breath was uneven and tears burned my eyes mercilessly.

I saw Hotaru step in to break Natsume away from Tsubasa—senpai. I saw another tall figure behind Hotaru shove Natsume lightly in the chest before picking up the injured Tsubasa—senpai.

"Subaru—nii," I choked through tears.

He shot me a reassuring glance, before helping Tsubasa—senpai up. I couldn't look at Natsume in the eye. I could just look at my hands, folded in my lap as I sat on the cold floor, crying like the day they left me outside the orphanage. It had been raining then, too.

Then, everything went black.

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**A/n:** Too intense? First time writing a fight scene, I hope I didn't suck too bad? –sigh— Leave a review guys, honestly, this chapter took a long time to write and a LOT of effort. A review will be GREATLY appreciated. What are you waiting for? ;D

I need lemonade. –runs away—


	8. The Angry Lover

**A/n:** Guess who are the best people in the world? The crème de la crème? YOU GUYS! –tackles everyone into a group hug— Thank you to _EVERY_ single reviewer for the last few updates. Your reviews encouraged me to update (I was completely exhausted otherwise). This update is for **everyone** who **reviewed**. _jAyesque_, _Tearing Rain_, _spica14_, _96bittersweetblackcat_, _bullsh.t_, _anim3gurl_, _f0r3evaH-y0urS.88_ , _xXAshPheonixXx _, _Duck Eggs Are Amazeballs _&_ Luka and Yuki_

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"_Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him."_

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**8. The Angry Lover**

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**Natsume's POV**

Why wasn't anyone telling me anything?

I was out of my rage blackout. The last thing I remember was punching the life out of Andou. And then Imai came parading in with that lousy brother of hers to save the day. And then…

Mikan fainted.

"Look," Ruka put both his hands on my shoulders, as if he was holding me in place. "Subaru can't look at her right now because you totaled Andou pretty damn bad," he hissed. I flinched at Andou's name.

"Why can't they just let _me_ see her?!" I growled.

"Mikan's in too much shock right now, Nat!" Ruka raised his voice for the first time in 17 years of our friendship. He threw his hands up in defeat and let out an exasperated sigh. "I don't know okay, Hotaru thinks you should stay away from her for a while and honestly –I think"

"Who cares what Imai thinks?! Who the fuck does she think she is anyway?" I snarled.

"Don't drag Hotaru into this!" He told me off defiantly, a serious expression spreading in cool blue eyes.

"_She_ was the one who wanted to save Andou right?!" I could feel blood rising to my head so fast that I wasn't capable of thinking clearly anymore. "And now she wants _me_ to stay away from _my_ own fucking girlfriend!"

"She needs her _space_!" Ruka shouted. "Okay?! I promise things will get better. She's your girlfriend, Nat, it's not like you _own_ her."

"What did you say?" I screamed. I didn't know what overcame me as I pushed Ruka who fell in through the glass door off the infirmary.

Sumire gasped, I turned to look at my friends' faces – all staring back at me, struck with horror.

I… I had never meant to do that.

I felt a cold, hard impact meet my cheek. I was too shocked after what I had done to Ruka to notice that Imai had sent a slap flying across my face. She grabbed my collar, grinding her teeth together, mad rage in her eyes.

"_HYUUGA!_" She growled, pushing me with all her strength. I tumbled a few steps back. "Stay _AWAY_ from Mikan. And stay _AWAY_ from Ruka!" She shrieked. I could see her shivering – with what, I do not know.

I took a few steps back, further falling into my darkness. A piece of glass was stuck to the back of Ruka's head, and he was bleeding pretty badly. I wanted to reach out to Ruka, but Hotaru was holding him in her arms, and I could feel Koko and Kitsumene's hands around my elbows, pulling me further and further away from Ruka… from Mikan.

I watched with my own eyes how they became more and more out of my reach. The corridor got smaller and smaller, my pupils widened when Ruka was put on a stretcher and carried into the infirmary.

I looked down at my hands, hanging loosely on both sides. Had I done this? Why? I had never meant for things to go completely out of control. I had never meant to hurt either of them. But I had ended up hurting them, and pretty badly at that.

I wish I could have taken it back. But I knew, from the minute I got pulled off Andou, to the minute Koko and Kitsumene grabbed my elbows, pulling me away from my child hood best friend, that I, no matter how much I ever wanted to, could _never_ take it back.

When I had been escorted into my room, I noticed that it had been locked from outside and my window was, consequently sealed.

I sat on the floor, holding my head in my hands. Everything ran through my head like a black and white movie: the first time I kissed Mikan under the Sakura tree, the day we exchanged Alice stones, the day Ruka's mom first brought him to my house, the day Ruka got almost expelled for trying to help me escape the academy.

All of it was coming back, one after the other, merciless, ruthless, cruel – just as I had been.

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I could taste the salt on my lips. The tears came pouring out of these eyes that didn't know what it was like to cry and I found myself weak, miserable and alone, just as I had been when mother left us on our own with dad. Me and Aoi.

After a few hours of sitting in the darkness, my door clicked open. I wiped away my tears swiftly, erasing every ounce of emotion from my face. Sakurano Suuichi walked in like he owned the place, his gaze was cold. My own eyes met his with just as much indifference, but my breath was shaken from all the tears.

"You're under probation." He said in his composed voice. "If I see you on campus, or anywhere near campus before your one week suspension is up, I'll have to extend the suspension and maybe call in for expulsion. Do you understand?"

I nodded, accepting a letter sealed in an envelope from his hand. It had **Natsume Hyuuga** written on it in bold letters.

"You have an hour to pack your things and say your goodbyes." He said before turning. With his hand steady on the door knob, his back turned to me, he didn't look back but I felt like his eyes were looking at me through the back of his head.

"And _one more thing_, the infirmary and surrounding area is out of bounds for you."

The letter crumbled in my hand as it balled into a fist.

**Mikan's POV**

It was raining all around me. I was in a black and white movie, where I was watching from an omniscient, god-view. I loomed closer to stairs of the Gakuen Alice Orphanage, and looked down at the small bundle left at the steps. A small note on the basket read,

"Her name is Mikan Sakura."

The writing was almost identical to my own.

I felt a sharp pang in my heart. Was this… _me_? I wanted to reach out and touch my face, wipe away my tears and tell the little me that I was _not_ going to be alone. That I would grow up in grandpa's loving, tender care, Hotaru's protective motherly self, Tsubasa—senpai' fatherly shelter, Natsume's –

_Natsume_.

My head felt like it was going to split and I felt the view disappearing. Eyes blinking, my vision was hazy, but I could see two tall figures leaning against the lamp post. A man and a woman. I tried to focus, but I couldn't see their faces. Just then, the orphanage's door opened and Narumi sensei bent down to look at the little basket. He picked me in his arms and kissed my forehead, gently cradling me as he took me inside.

The lamp-post couple saw this and began to walk away.

Where those… _my parents_?

My eyes flew open. My body felt heavy, and the shock sent me sitting up. I felt a sharp stinging of a needle as I pulled on my canola accidentally. The drip connected to one of my hands almost fell down, before a doctor caught it in his hand.

"Subaru—nii?" I called out to him. He kissed my forehead, which surprised me. "I am so glad you're okay, Mikan." I stared at Subaru—nii in disbelief. He was always protective of me, but never this attentive. He looked worried, dark circles underneath his eyes like he hadn't slept much.

I wheeled my head around the room, taking in the view of white—washed walls, white bed sheets, green curtains, all sorts of medical equipment around me, drips, medicines and needles on a small table near my feet, much like a tray and my other hand firmly is someone else's.

My eyes widened as the blonde haired, handsome boy lifted up his face. His eyes were blood shot from the lack of sleep, but his smile was warm, making me feel right at home. "Suiichi—sama!" I gasped.

Suiichi Sakurano had been our student body president in high school. He was Subaru—nii's best friend and always very protective of me, just like Subaru—nii. He looked as worried as his best friend.

"Are you feeling alright? You scared me." His voice was cool and composed, but never lacking its usual warmth.

"Mmm, I just had a dream," I said in my sleepy voice. I rubbed my eyes as he let go of my hands and smiled at him. "A dream about my past," I added.

I saw his composed face show signs of panic. "What? What did you see?" He pressed. I blinked. Why was Suiichi—sama so worried about my dream?

"Umm… you see…" I began rattling my brains for the details but my head only hurt when I tried to think about it.

"Why don't we just let Mikan rest for now?" Subaru—nii said coolly. I caught a moment of understand between him and Suiichi—sama as he rose in a fluid motion, ruffling my hair. "Get well soon, Mikan."

I lay back down, feeling a slight throbbing in the side of my head. I looked to my side and saw the empty chair fill itself, the occupant looking at me lazily with brilliant amethyst eyes. "Took you long enough to wake up," Hotaru's nonchalant voice reverberated through the hospital room.

I smiled at her, tears stinging my eyes. I saw Hotaru's eyes widen before she left the chair and occupied a space right next to me on my bed. I hugged her with one arm, sobbing onto her frilly, purple blouse. She took out a handkerchief from her smooth grey dress pants and handed it to me.

I blew my nose in the handkerchief, unable to stop the sharp breaths and sobs that kept getting more and more jagged. Hotaru patted my head awkwardly; she never knew how to deal with crying people.

"What _happened_?" She asked simply. There was no trace of sarcasm or annoyance in her voice, just plain sincerity.

"I… I… had a d-d-dream about my p-past," I stuttered through muffled sobs.

Hotaru sighed as she continued patting my head, silently nodding. "Go on," she said after a long pause.

"I think I … I think I know now, where I should start looking for my parents." My cheek was pressed to Hotaru's heart quietly beating inside her chest. Tears ran down my cheeks as I clutched her with one hand like my life depended on it. After a few minutes I moved back, bowing my head in apology.

"I am sorry for crying Hotaru, and being so dependant on you all the time," I continued sobbing, wiping away the tap of tears flowing from my eyes with my sleeve.

Hotaru shook her head silently. "It's okay to cry, Mikan," she said for the first time. My eyes met hers and I smiled my brightest smile for her. "But _see_," she said, a _genuine_ smile playing on her lips, "you look much better this way."

I nodded happily, pressing her hand with mine tightly. "Thanks Hotaru." Her eyes looked as bloodshot as Suiichi—sama's. "Say, Hotaru… have you had any sleep?" I asked, frowning.

Hotaru put on her favorite poker face and shook her head. "I was taking care of you, Andou and bunny boy. Obviously I didn't have time to lounge about aimlessly," she sighed as if she was lost in deep thought.

Then the incident came back to me. I was in the rain. I slipped. We kissed.

I looked down at my lap.

_TSUBASA—SENPAI AND I KISSED!_

I couldn't stop myself from bushing furiously. Helplessly, I prayed Hotaru wouldn't notice. When I had the strength to look back up again, I saw her eyeing me with interest. "Aren't you going to ask how _Andou_ is?" She smirked, and I puffed my cheeks in irritation.

"Hotaru you're so immature," I spat, crossing my arms across my chest.

Hotaru chuckled darkly. "Andou got bruised pretty badly, you know," she said in almost a whisper. I gasped, and felt something painful tug at my heart. I was suddenly very aware of everything that happened, how Natsume dragged Tsubasa—senpai off me, how he threw one punch after the other...

Hotaru answered my next question before I had even asked. "No, you can't see him right now. Subaru hasn't allowed visitors for Andou yet."

Just then, I remembered something.

"Hotaruuuu, what happened to Ruka—pyon?" Hotaru let out an incensed sigh before shaking her head as if dismissing something. "Ne, Hotaruuu," I poked her shoulder. Creases began to form on her forehead and she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

"Hyuuga pushed Ruka through the infirmary's door," she stated as a matter of fact.

I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. My eyes widened in shock, and my heart was suddenly heavier than it was a few seconds ago. I ached in worry, to see Tsubasa—senpai, and now Ruka—pyon.

Tears formed in my eyes again, but before they could slip, Hotaru wiped the corners of my eyes. "Ruka had a little head injury, but he woke up a few hours ago and talked to me. He was even flirting," she rolled her eyes. "_Clearly_," she emphasized on each syllable, "nothing is wrong with him. So no need to worry yourself over bunny boy, baka."

Her nonchalant tone returned and the vulnerable Hotaru moments ago had fortified herself once more. I looked at Hotaru thoughtfully. I figured that's just how she is.

"But _you're_ worried." It wasn't a question, I knew.

She sighed. "I am…" her breathing slowed, and she was barely audible. "I _am_ worried about Ruka." I punched her shoulder lightly. "Hmmm, looks like the Ice Queen is melting!" I teased, earning a scowl from my amethyst—eyed best friend.

"Okay, visiting hours are up. I'll come get you tomorrow. Subaru insisted that you stay another night in the hospital." She frowned. Hotaru knew how much I hated being in hospitals. "Where will you go?" I asked her, although I already knew the answer.

"I am staying with bunny boy in ward 21, just down the hall" she said coolly. Suiichi has to work on his speech for University's Student Body Elections so he'll be working on that tonight. He can't take bloodshot eyes to the podium."

"WHAT?!" He stayed the _WHOLE_ night?!" I shrieked.

Hotaru flicked my forehead. "Don't' shriek you moron. And yes, he stayed the whole night with you. Misaki's staying with Tsubasa tonight, Kaname stayed last night. Tonouchi wanted to stay but no way am I letting that pervert stay alone with you." I rolled my eyes.

"Tono—senpai's a pervy, but I know he's probably worried about me," I said softly.

"Worried or not, he's _not_ staying," Hotaru snapped. I stuck my tongue out at her, which she ignored completely. "I called in Permy. I suppose she can handle an injured idiot for one night."

I blinked. "Hey but I am not injured," I said, a little confused.

"Remember that brain injury you suffered when you were born? That made you like this?" Hotaru cooed.

"Umm… _which_ brain injury… _huh_?" I saw a smirk play on Hotaru's lips as veins in my forehead began to pop literally out of my skin. "YAH! Hotaru! There's nothing wrong with my brain!" I waved my fist in her face and she turned on her heels, laughing softly as she exited.

There were so many questions in my head… Natsume… why would he hurt Ruka—pyon? Why hadn't he come to see me yet? I looked around my possessions to find my phone missing. If only I could hear his voice…

"Hey, Mikan," I saw Sumire's face bathed in worry. I chuckled as she sat down nervously by my side, patting my head. "For someone who acts like she doesn't give a shit, you sure are a softie Permy!" I beamed.

Sumire's eyebrow twitched before she looked away. "Whatever. You were sick. Not like I care usually." I smiled warmly at her. She had been so hostile to me in elementary school, but when I had earned her trust, I found in her one of the most loyal friends, a soul sister, and a very hyperactive roommate.

"Hey Permy…" I began in a low voice.

"How many times must I tell you not to call me— that"

"Where's…. Natsume?" I cut her off. Sumire looked at me seriously, her eyebrows pulled together in annoyance. "He's on probation."

My orbs widened. "Wait, what?"

Sumire rolled her eyes. "Naturally Mikan, he totaled one of Alice Academy's geniuses, and then pushed his own best friend through a glass door."

I flinched at the way she put it. I felt like everyone was painting Natsume out to be some villain which he wasn't.

"But you know," she added in a small voice, fiddling with her skirt like she was anxious about what to say, "He was really desperate to see you."

I felt a sharp _pang_ in my heart. "I know what he did was wrong, but I don't think he meant to do that to Ruka—sama." Sumire added. I felt like a heavy burden had been lifted off my chest. "Will you do me a favor, Sumire?" Her ears perked up when I called her name and she nodded reluctantly.

**Tsubasa's POV**

I yawned as the first rays of the unruly sun hit my eyes through the blinds. I saw Subaru towering over me, before he softly touched my forehead. "Doesn't look like you have a fever anymore," he said quietly.

I stretched on my bed. "I feel loads better, doc, thanks." I winked. Subaru continued to look at me nonchalantly before calling over a nurse. "She'll disconnect the canola once your drip is complete, and you can return to school." He yawned. His eyes were red and he looked pretty tired.

When I was out of bed and changed into my uniform it was still early. Fresh air blew into my face and I didn't feel like a patient anymore. I had been at the hospital since a week now and it felt good to be out again.

I strolled by the fountain casually, surprising Kaname who turned to look at me, eyes widened in surprise. "Surprise surprise," I chuckled as he hugged me, relief probably washing all over him. "I am so glad you're back," he smiled shyly as he withdrew his hug and sat next to me on the fountain.

Misaki threw her arms around me when she saw me at our usual chilling spot, and I couldn't help but hug her back tightly too. "Thanks Misa, for taking care of me this whole time," I added sincerely. Her hair weren't straightened to perfection as always, she wasn't wearing any makeup and her eyes looked tired.

Tonouchi put an arm around me and ruffled my hair and this time, _just_ this time, I didn't mind that much. "Welcome back!" He grinned. Before I could ask, Tono brought her up. No, let me rephrase, he literally announced, "Well done! Heard you kissed Mikan Sakura and Natsume kicked your butt. Didn't know you had it in you," he winked at me.

I glared at him before elbowing him lightly. "How do you know, anyway?" I asked, irritated and anxious. I was irritated because of the tone Tonouchi used, like he was proud of me for winning some sort of prize. Mikan wasn't an object, she was a human being. I was anxious because I feared …

And my fears came true when Tonouchi said, "Me? The _whole school knows_ Tsubasa. Even the teachers know. There's a video on GATube, and everybody's polling whether Mikan's gonna start dating you and dump Natsume, or—stay with him and"

"I don't wanna know, Tonouchi," I said coolly, putting my hands in my pockets. I walked away from the group, which was very unlike me. I could feel their stares on my back but I didn't care. I needed to see Mikan. What I was going to do when I saw her… didn't matter.

I just needed to see her face.

* * *

**A/n: **Sorry for long, sucky chapter. I promise to write much better, but I couldn't skip skip skip and get to NaMi moments. I need to lay out the whole story at a pace that everyone can catch on without feeling like I pushed them too far ahead. But if you think I am dragging, please tell me?

Also, _PLEASE_ do _NOT_ forget to review. Your reviews keep me going on no matter what. :') So go ahead guys, even if you hate it, at least tell me what you're thinking!


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